Julia Child

I am jumping on the Julia Child bandwagon. I am fully aware how trendy this is at the moment and would normally be completed turned off. However, after spending the past 3 weeks reading "My Life in France", I have completely fallen in love with her. First, I must point out that on average lately I've been going through about a book a week. So, for her one book to take me three weeks, definitely speaks volumes. I did not want to let her go. I felt like I made a little Julia Child friend that fit inside my bag and went wherever I went. If I needed to hear her voice on the T, I would simply pull out the book and start where I had left off. Her adventures through France, Norway, Germany, and Boston were so well depicted. Her voice came through as if she were sitting next to me telling me the stories herself.

I found the book so inspiring and discouraging at the same time. To start, this woman made some of the most incredible meals ever known to man. And she seemed to do them with ease. She never expressed sincere fear in putting together a great feast. Instead, she buckled down and spent days working with the finest products in France. I, on the otherhand, am frightened to cook for anyone other than Mario. Julia says you should never say sorry. If something doesn't work out, it is what it is. You just do your best to fix the problem, accept it this once, and don't make the same mistake again. That is much simplier said than done. However, I am trying to take this attitude lately, and find it somewhat soothing.

She is so passionate though about her work. Julia spent years putting together a single cookbook-- testing and retesting each of the recipes until each was perfect. I am disappointed to say I do not have this drive. I really enjoy cooking. However, lately it has become more of a hassle than a pleasure. I miss the immediate satisfaction of going out to eat and having the food prepared for you. Lately, I do not enjoy trying to figure out what to make each evening or what to make of the items in our fridge. Granted, Julia had nothing else to do. She had the government's money, freetime while her husband worked, and no television. I suppose if put into those circumstances I too could become excited about cooking again. Plus, it didn't hurt that she was in France among some of the best produce available.

All in all, I would say this is one of the best books I have read. If I owned it, instead of rented from the library, it would be tucked away among the greats like "Eat, Prey, Love" and "The Alchemist". I really urge you to read it, but be sure to give yourself enough time to get through the whole book. I am sure you will savor each page as I did and never want it to end.

family

It is funny about family. In my life, there are so many people I am related to by blood that I wish I didn't know and so many people I'm not related to that feel like family. It is funny how that works out. For Thanksgiving, two of my "family" drove up to spend the holiday with us. I have known Sarah & Lari now for about 7 years and seeing them was exactly what I needed. We spent the whole day talking and laughing and talking and laughing some more. It felt so good to be with people that knew who I am and don't need explanation of my every thought and movement. Instead, we understand each other without saying a thing. It was exactly what I needed.

On that same note, my parents came out about a month ago. I have put off writing about their trip because, as good as it was, it only made me ache for them more. It is not that I had forgotten anything about them. It just made me miss them even more to have them close. Its like eating chocolate after years of dieting. It only makes you want it more. Or something like that.

We had an amazing time (that's for you Jim) walking around Boston and seeing all of the sites. I must say the highlight of the trip was being at the Cheers bar with them, having drinks and laughing. I don't even remember what we were talking about. I just remember feeling at home with both of them by my side.

At first, I was afraid for my parents to see how modest our life has become. I didn't want them to worry. But then I realized, it really is what it is. And at the end of the day, we are not hurting or wanting for anything major. We simply aren't as extravagant as we once were. If anything, I'm sure this pleased them more than caused worry.

With the holidays upon us, I'm beginning to realize how hard it is going to be without my parents. This will be my first Christmas without them. Can you believe that??? I'm 29 years old, and only now experiencing my first Christmas without my parents. I guess that makes me pretty pathetic. Either way, I'm going to miss them terribly.

For as long as I can remember, I woke up every Christmas morning VERY early, grabbed all of our stockings, and climbed into my parents' bed. We would open everything together, one at a time. These are my best memories of the holiday. For, after we got out of bed, all of the drama would ensue, and the day would lose all meaning. But for that hour of the 3 of us in bed, it was wondeful. That is what I am going to miss.

In honor of them, I'm attaching photos of my parents' trip. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

missing LA

No, I would not say that I'm homesick. I would definitely say that I'm not ready to move back. However, every day, there are certain little things about LA that I miss. So, I thought I would make a list for fun...

* Seeing my friends in person-- phone calls are wonderful. but there is nothing like being able to see and touch someone.

* happy hour- discounted drinks and good times with friends.

* networking events. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed them until they are gone--- free drinks at amazing locations in LA, while strumming up new business.

* in line with the last one- having connections. We don't know anyone or anything here.

* Walking down Hillhurst in Los Feliz. I can still see exactly how all of the shops and restaurants are lined up.

* Del Taco & Carl's Jr.

* authentic tacos & good mexican food

* Spaghetti factory- specifically the Mizithra cheese

* knowing what the weather is going to be like from day to day-- while the guessing game here is fun, I miss the consistency of it.

* having a full wine fridge. and just good wine in general.

* palm trees

* wearing high heels & professional clothing.

* pilates

* the front yard pool parties

blogging

I am so conflicted about blogging. I'm not sure I've written about this before, but it is something that has been on my mind for awhile. Perhaps, it is the reason that I have not blogged as much as I would like. So, here is my questions--- how truthful can/should one be in a blog??? I have a couple of blogs I read regularly and appreciate the painful truth in their writing. My heart goes out to each one of them.

There is so much I need to say...want to say...could reportabout day-to-day life. Yet, I don't. I don't know if I want people to know my struggles and challenges. I have a hard enough dealing with the truth of life. How appropriate is it to put the truth out there and have others deal with it? And once I've put those challenges out there, and now someone else is dealing with them or acknowledging them, is it okay to move on? It always helps me to talk about things in order to move on. So, if I put something out there, is it okay that I am then ready to move past it? Sometimes it feels as though I've taken my burden and handed it off to someone else. That is never my intention. I never want anyone else to endure the emotional roller coasters. I've spent majority of my life trying to help people so that they don't have to suffer at all.

This brings up another important question....does anyone even read this blog? If not, this is all a moot point. I am simply writing to the internet void and not affecting a soul. If that is the case, the blog can become a means to communicate and work my way through things. But how does one know? Is there anyone out there? Does anyone read this? Or have I lost you all completely? I suppose that would be a good place to start. Once I know if and who reads this, I can then figure out how much I want you all to know.

I just don't know how honest I'm ready to be....especially with the ones we've left back home. When you make a decision to make a big change, whatever it may be, it is hard to admit it is not always easy. There are a lot of challenges, every step of the way. I know I need the help of my loved ones to get through it all. But I'm not ready for them to know. I'd rather they think we are doing amazing. That everything is simply fantastic....because in so many ways it is. It just isn't easy. I don't regret one aspect of the decision. I was just foolish to think the move would be a smooth transition.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I guess I just needed to let it all out and apologize for not being more raw. I just don't know if I'm ready. But perhaps it is what I need.

when everything else goes away...

More and more lately I've become aware of how soothing the kitchen really is. All of the day's troubles just wash away. That's not to say that the kitchen is not stressful. As my parents will tell you, I can become really stressed when trying to get a meal on the table. When they were here a few weeks ago, we got into a bit of a tiff over getting "Thanksgiving dinner" out and hot. No one was ready to eat, there was no room to put the food, and it was getting cold very quick due to our freezing weather.

Anyhow, I'm just saying the kitchen can make a lot of stress disappear. I had forgotten this. My classes lately have consisted of learning about terroirs, fermenting in steel versus oak, and how to speak French. All very stressful, to say the least. But today...today we were let loose in a kitchen once again and it felt soooo good.

I know some of you wonder what it is like to be in culinary school. Is it really like what you see on tv??? Surprisingly, it kind of is, just a lot less screaming. Today, we had to complete production for both today and tomorrow. Because of Thanksgiving, we are squeezing two days into each one day in order to be able to cover the same amount of material. This just means a lot more work and moving a lot quicker.

We start class every day at 7:00am sharp! If you show up at 7:01am, you are late and will be docked points. I do my best to get there by 6:45am every day. Lately, its been closer to 7:50am though. That leaves me just enough time to get out of my layers of a coat, scarf, beanie, and sometimes gloves. I have to put on my uniform, take out my books, grab a stool, and organize my area in that 10 minutes. At 7:00am, we step out into the hallway for brigade. Here, the chef instructor checks to make sure we have every piece of the uniform needed- from neckerchief to sharpie to thermometer to nametag. The chef instructor is also making sure our uniform is pressed, shoes are shined, nails are cut, girls' hair is completely hidden under the hat, and men are freshly shaven. Its funny...to write this out, it sounds so foreign and strange. Yet, this is what I have gone through every day for the past 4 months. Funny...what can become normal in such a small amount of time.

Anyhow, once we have passed the test, we go back inside for lecture. This may include powerpoint and/or a demo of some sort. Today, our chef instructor awed us with his knife skills. I have never seen anyone cut like this. It was amazing. At one point, I wanted to pack up my stuff and go home, as to not be embarrassed when my turn came. He can even turn a potato into a 7-sided dradle-like shape behind his back. I'm sure that does not sound anywhere near as impressive as it is. Let's just say, I've barely mastered creating the shape and can only do it when under extreme pressure. This chef can do it with his eyes closed...literally. AMAZING!!!

Anyhow, we got a short break and than a little past 8:00am we got to it. We had until 11:15am to make the following:
*mayonnaise
*lemon parsley vinaigrette
*balsamic vinaigrette
*tomato vinaigrette
*Caesar salad (dressing, croutons and all-- made from scratch)
*roasted pepper salad

After we completed each dressing, he had to okay it before we could move on to the next. At 11:15am, we had to have the two salads plated and ready for his critique. I know the list may not seem very long. But you also have to keep in mind we have to wash our dishes prior to starting the next item. We do not have five of everything. Just one whisk, usually one bowl, one chef's knife, one set of measuring spoons, etc. So, everything must be cleaned before moving on. It is pretty insane, and I'm sure amusing to watch. On top of that, everything we cut must be a certain size. For example, the roasted peppers all had to be in 1/2" slices. Prior to coming to culinary school, I didn't even know what 1/2" looked like. Now its something I must create without any thought.

At one point today, I took a step back to take it all in. All I could do was laugh. We had about 25 people with their heads down, chopping quickly, and mumbling recipes to themselves to make sure nothing was forgotten. It was hilarious sight. We all looking like fools speaking jibberish while waving knifes around.

It is pretty incredible when you break it down. So, I thought I would share. Just give you all a little piece of my day-to-day. I hope it helps you imagine things a little better. Or at least give you a reason to smile. Little Chef Soto has made it through one more day without cutting her finger off.

That means it is a good day.

fall is here

Oh my God, it is beautiful today! Fall is officially here. The sun is still shining, but there is that crisp breeze that can only mean fall. The trees are starting to change colors, and everyone is pulling out their sweaters. So, fall is here, right??? The most telling signal for me though, is that it feels like someone has pushed the restart button. Fall to me always feels like the starting point of the year. Not New Years. This is the time that everyone goes back to school...where new adventures await them.

In school there was always the question of who will the girls have a crush on this year? Who will become best friends? What will be every one's new favorite subject? At Patina, the Opera and Phil started their new seasons. The fall was full of Galas and the biggest parties. Fall always brought the question of what will the holidays bring? How much money will we make? Will we meet our goal for the year? Fall is the beginning of every cycle.

Now that I'm back in school and working part time jobs, fall brings a whole new beginning. My school schedule is divided into three week classes. So, every few weeks, things change. That hasn't meant a whole lot up until now. Oddly enough, with the onset of fall, the class changes are starting to feel real. Monday I start baking. I start something completely new and foreign, just like the beginning of every school year. I'm so afraid I will burn the kitchen down. Okay, not the whole kitchen, but at least everything I put into the oven. What if the bread doesn't rise? I've managed to ruin boxed brownies. How is making it from scratch going to go any better? I have learned at this school, there is no guarantee of anything. At least it is a new beginning. I have three weeks to figure out the rest.

Work is another story. This past month has been a struggle just to get through. I've been training at two jobs and working an inconsistent schedule. All I want is some constant. I want to know what each day is bringing and where I'll be going for that day. Fortunately, both jobs offered me more hours. Unfortunately, I was faced with making a decision....the one thing I'm horrible at. But I did it and am really hoping I made the right one. Next week I begin working 35 hours a week. I'm up for the challenge. I only hope that there is time to sleep somewhere between 35 hours of work and 25 hours of school. It will be like being at Patina again. Good thing I can't afford to have a social life. I have to use the energy and rebirth of fall to get me through it and into my rhythm.

I know I'm making it sound awful. It really isn't. I still love Boston and have not regretted moving for an instant. We are simply in a transitional phase and are working to have all the pieces fall together. I trust that one day we will be making money again and living the high life. We will be able to enjoy the city and all of its pleasures. Until then, we will stick to eating dinners at home and drinking Pabst. At least I'm getting lots of practice cooking.

So, here's to fall and all of the exciting adventures you will bring. I have hopes and wishes for you. Please bring the New England beauty and array of colors. That, above all else, will make it all worthwhile.

photos for bianca

Next weekend, our good friends Bianca & Jaime are getting married. These two are high school sweethearts. Until meeting them, I didn't believe that could still happen. In my experience, your high school love is just a starting point. He/she becomes the person to teach you how to love and how to understand the different levels of love later in life. For Bianca & Jaime, they found the true thing the first time around. I adore this and have so much respect for them.

Unfortunately, we are not able to attend the wedding. Due to financial challenges and having just found our jobs, we can't make the trek back to sunny California. I know it is going to be beautiful and cannot wait to see photos. Bianca- just know we are sending our love from across the country.

In honor of you, I am posting photos. I forget that not everyone wants to subscribe the demon Facebook, and therefore has not seen our Boston life. Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order. I'll try to do better at posting in both locations.